Tripping in Amsterdam

Today I’ve embarked on a long-planned psychedelic experience in Amsterdam. It was a day long guided session in a private space of my cosy AirBnB with a view on one of the many bicycles lined water channels. My guide has arrived and after connecting briefly and setting up an intention altar, I ingested 2.5 mg of grinded magic mushrooms (psilocybin). Read on for my preparation details or scroll down for the 16 lessons I took from the plant medicine. Remember that everyone’s journey and experience is different.

If this is something you are considering for yourself, please make sure to consult the legal conditions of the country you are in in relation to psychedelics. Consider your health condition, make sure your set, settings, safety and qualified support person are in place. In my view psychedelics are to be honored as medicine that has sacred messages to share with us. It’s not a party drug and I have never consumed it in such context. This was my one off amazing trip. The best I’ve ever taken and yet I have been in one spot all along.

In the three days prior to the experience, I had two massages, did a lot of meditation, relaxation and followed the fasting guidance to make sure I am ‘in the zone’. Arriving to Amsterdam three days earlier enabled me to make the AirBnB space mine (this is referred to as ‘setting’ in psychedelic therapy), to really feel safe here, to have some time to myself, to reflect, cycle around the city on the bike, see some art and just be (being in the right frame of mind is referred to as ‘set’). Something I haven’t done for years. I also had an intention setting session with the facilitator three weeks in advance. It helped getting some things into motion in my mind.

I stuck to vegetarian diet, no caffeinne and alcohol in the lead up to the day. I was ready. The facilitator has arrived, we chatted, she set up a little altar, weigh the mushrooms and set them in the juice of half a lemon. After 20 minutes I could see the shape of tiny mushroom pieces appear in the cup, they were ready for eating. The mash bonded beautifully and instantaneously with my body, I felt the first effects within minutes. It started with a few giggles, went into some subtle visualisation and from then on the medicine took over completely, pending my permission to surrender, it sucked me into its powerful vortex. I was very glad to have the facilitator here. She helped me go inwards and beautifully held the space for me, refilled my water, and played the most perfect music designed for the different stages of the trip. In the first hour I felt I wanted more of the dosage, I kept thinking what if I didn’t take enough and it wont work properly. In hindsight I am grateful to have been in professional hands where an appropriate dose was carefully weighed. it was perfect. I felt like I am immediately addicted to the bliss. Soon I realised that the mushroom are just there to remind me of what life already is and hence this state is always there for me to reach. Easier said than done, but it all starts with a realisation right? Addiction sorted. The trip lasted about five hours. My guide arrived at 11am, after a bit of talking, setting up an altar, setting the mushurooms in lemon juice and so on, I was on my way by 12pm, went to the end of the universe and was back by 5pm.

The below is a record of the key messages I received from the plant medicine. These are the only ones I can articulate in words. Other than that I felt as if the medicine was repairing my nervous system, working its way through my brain, which I thought is going to explode at times, making my body stretch, releasing decades of layers of tension. Particularly the right half of my body was twitching and releasing a lot. I spent the entire five hours in bed in various positions, mostly with my eyes closed.

I drank a lot of water, maybe three litres, in the last couple hours. I felt the medicine needed some lubrication as it was doing some hard work on my body. I had some fruit and a biscuit towards the end. I remained incredibly thirsty for the rest of the night, drinking litres of water and orange juice.

So here are my takeaways. They might sound generic or motherhoody, but they are what I now know with the core essence of my being. They are first hand, taken by me from the vortex, not recycled or read in a book written by a spiritual teacher. Many things clicked in, started to make sense today.

1. I am me and my only job is to be.
2. Being can only happen in the now, there is no being in the past or the future as they don’t exist.
3. Everything is one. When we separate from the oneness, we struggle.
   Any struggle in life is a message to us that we have become separate. When we return to unity, the struggle will resolve.
4. Her breath (God/Nature/Mother…fill in your flavour) is healing. I don’t breathe, she breathes through me. There is nothing for me to do. If I am with her and feel her, she will guide me to the spots in my body that need releasing and healing.
5. My body is my vehicle of connection to and communication with her. My intuition is a real thing, that is her speaking to me. It is a real language based on feeling, when in touch with my body. It goes both ways, I can speak to her, the unity too, as we are one. It is not a words based language.
6. It is an effortles constant dialog with the objective to thrive.
7. Her only interest is the balance and wellbeing of all. If one suffers, it reduces the wellbeing of the entire eco-system. It is in the interest of everyone that everyone thrives.
8. Any doing worth doing in the eyes of the divine mother (as supposed to being), is the action expanded to protect her (nature) and to maintain the oneness. Any other doing than the above is an expession of ego. Only do things that contribute to oneness and protect togetherness. This one is tricky to explain. What I took from the medicine is that there are two types of ‘doing’, one is from a place of being (flow) and the other from a place of effort (ego). The first one is effortless (coming from being) the other contains struggle (driven by ego).
9. My IUD obstructs free flow of nature’s energy by mechanically preventing the possibility of life’s expansion. Removing the IUD will increase my well-being and energy levels.
10. I am no longer afraid of snakes. I am them as part of nature. As long as I respect them and their habitat, I have nothing to fear.
11. In the world of oneness, comparison or competition are pointless as one would be competing against oneself. Why compare me to me? Makes no sense anymore.
12. It doesn’t matter what others think as they are not others, they are me.
13. We like sex because it reminds us of the unity we lost. However, the idea of separateness happens in our mind. Celebrating oneness through sex is different. Neither is good or bad.
14. Breathing has never been easier. Breath is a healer as it is our divine connection to Mother. I can now distincly tell the difference between allowing her to ‘breath me’. It comes from my tummy, it is effortless and expansive as supposed to my ‘trying to breath’, which costs effort, is shallow and tight.
15. Being separate simply takes too much effort. The path of least resistance is a real thing. Who ever came up with that, was not kidding. Wow.
16. When we say ‘I miss you’, we are denying the present moment, resisting what is, the opposite of flow, the opposite of the bliss of surrender that feeds alignment with mother. It is as we were saying that ‘I want the present moment to be different’ and hence you are out of ‘being’ and out of the state of gratitude. You are in the gap between what is and what you would like it to be. That gap consists of a void where no energy flows. Resisting hurts, surrender embraces. When we miss someone we are also suggesting that we are separate. If you experience our oneness, you realize that we are all together all the time. Connected through the grid of consciousness which cannot be seen or felt physically. It can only be perceived on the consciousness level. This understanding feeds a great solace, supports our ability to surrender and be present, to be there where our one and only precious life happens, right now.

So there you have it, my most intimate learnings. I might be adding to this list as things come up but for today, let’s just say I had a good trip.

Would I do it again? Maybe, if one day I feel like I’ve forgotten, hence also this record. But for now, I don’t see what more there is to say or learn at this stage. I think the medicine has shared its most complete message and wisdom I was ready to receive today and it will take the rest of my life to integrate the experience and translate it into my material life.

And would I recommend it? Yes. Personally I am glad that I paced myself and waited for the real deal experience with high quality organic mushrooms, where the guide handpicked the right strain for the experience desired, with an intention setting and a trusted supporter over a random party experience. I got what I was hoping for and so much more. The cost, and money overall after this experience to be honest, seems irrelevant.

Let the journey begin.

Namaste.